Being open...

So I have a new diagnoses that has happened since my last post. Back in 2009 I had a condition called "papilledema" which has now resurfaced. It is one of those conditions where they diagnose you but then you have to go through test after test to see what caused it. Last time - they never found a cause.

This time has been a bit different. The symptoms I have been having are intense POUNDING headaches as well as black outs in my eyes - like they blur and then I get blind spots. I had these symptoms for 2 weeks before I finally broke down and saw the doctor this time. I am busy dealing with being behind at work (due to a week of vacation to direct church camp) and client work backing up due to me being sick the first week back (bad headaches...could barely even function). Luckily I have gotten to a point where I have been able to just deal with the headaches and work through the pain. However, it is so hard to concentrate and I feel client work is suffering - which is never good in today's job market.

I want them to figure out what caused it this time. It is scary knowing that this could ultimately cause blindness and this is the second occurrence and we still have yet to find a cause. We must wait and see. One little snag I am running in to: I must go see a neuro-ophthalmologist to start the waves of tests and "treatments". There are two of these kinds of doctors in the whole state of Arizona and one is not accepting new patients. The other said they could not see me until early August. When I pressed - she said they could "slip me in" on July 20. I don't think I can live with these intense headaches plus blind spots randomly showing up THAT long. It is ridiculous. I called the eye doctor and he was out so hopefully tomorrow I can find out if I can go to a regular neurologist to start the tests.

What are the tests you may ask? Well last time it went like this: 1. Head MRI to determine that there is not a tumor pressing up against the back of the optic nerve. It came out clear back in 2009 so I'm hoping they let me pass on the MRI but I will do it if they think it necessary. 2. Lumbar Puncture - aka: Spinal tap. When this was done last time it came out normal as well - however, they had already started treatment (diamox) which is a diuretic to help bring pressure down. After I had been on the diamox for a couple months my condition just went away. No real reason for me to have the condition - but it just disappeared and I was good. Now that it is back - I believe it may be even more imperative that we move fast to try to figure out what the cause is.

Anyway, I hate using my blog to bitch -but that's my life right now. Behind at work; constant headaches; black-out vision escapades; physical therapy on the knee which isn't feeling much different than it did before this last surgery. I know - I know. Pity party for me. Sorry.

In other news, church camp did go great. If you asked me during church camp I would have said it was awful as there was much drama and a few issues...but now that I have had time to look back at it and see the campers' responses...I believe it achieved what I wanted it to achieve. I accepted the role of camp director for next year as well so if any of you have any great, profound thoughts on what would be a good theme for a jr. high/sr. high church camp - let me know.

That's all for now. I want to end this post so I can head over and read some of your posts that I have fallen so far behind on that is appears impossible to catch up. Especially for the few of you who somehow find time and words to post 2 or 3 posts a day! Holy cow! I have missed reading you all though and look forward to the short time I have tonight to do such a thing. Peace to you all!

Time...

So I have some time right now while waiting for a few things to come in here at work. I suppose I can post a little something something for you all :)

It seems lately that a lot of my friends have been getting "news" from doctors - which isn't necessarily good news. One of my friends found out she has a rare form of cancer.  Another found out he has moved from Stage 3 chronic kidney failure to Stage 4 (out of 5 stages).  There are many other instances I could list.  Another blog friend is in for surgery this morning.  I'm thinking of them all and hoping for the best in each case.

I too found out some interesting news this past Tuesday.  I went in to the knee doc with my MRI results to try to figure out why, a year out from surgery, I am still in so much pain.  He had some findings. I have some bone shards in my knee around my knee cap (probably where the knee cap has been moving around - which has been the cause of a lot of pain).  Additionally, he couldn't tell for sure on the scans, but he thinks I do have some meniscus tears that need to be scoped. He said it is hard to tell on the side where he did the meniscus tear, because on the scans it could just be the repair he is seeing - but on the inside he says there is definitely some fraying. So that means going back into surgery to remove the shards and to see if he needs to scope out some more meniscus.  Additionally, the surgery won't fix my pain altogether.  He says I have developed arthritis under my knee cap and a little around the inside of my knee where the meniscus was scoped. I knew from previous chats with the doc that arthritis was almost inevitable later on down the road. I didn't realize that I would have it this fast! I knew that turning 26 was a bad idea! *cough*old lady*cough*  Oh well. I will have the surgery which will be far less traumatic than the first (only 3-5 days on crutches and only 6-8 weeks in physical therapy).  I also need to get my butt in shape! I need to strengthen the muscles in my legs as much as possible to help with the arthritis.  I went and worked out yesterday for the first time in forever at the gym and it felt GOOD! I'm glad I did it. I think I will make more of an effort for my knee's sake.

Anyway, that's my update. I hope that only good news comes next for all of my friends and myself! Let's get through the bad first half of the year - to an amazing second half!

MRI; End of tax season; spring in Phoenix

Well, I head out here in a bit to go get an MRI on my right knee to see if we can figure out why I am having so many issues in my recovery from my surgery (over a year ago!). The doctor seemed to think that the meniscus repair performed did not hold, which happens in a low percentage of cases.  If that is the problem, we will need to have another surgery (far less invasive) so he can go in and scope the meniscus.  I don't want to have another surgery BUT if that fixes me up and I can finally start running, playing volleyball to my full potential, etc. - - totally worth it. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

The end of tax season is finally coming up.  I don't do taxes but audit's busy season is kind of the same as tax.  I do start a new client next week and will be busy through June probably - but not nearly as busy which is nice. I like the end of tax season because my firm gives us a big happy hour on Monday night - with free car rides home! Woo hoo!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this time of year out here in Phoenix.  It isn't too hot and even if it does get a bit hot, it still cools down in the evenings.  I haven't had the heater or air conditioner on in over a month (well except for a couple of days when it hit 100 degrees). I am absolutely dreading summer though.  I used to think it wasn't a big deal - and it usually isn't...until it gets into October and we are still 100+ degrees. I could throw something in October. heh

That's all for now. My photo blog will be resumed once I figure out which photo to use for the next one. I can't really figure that out. Ugh.

Just another manic Monday...

Man, today was ridiculously long and unproductive.  I have to work very hard tomorrow to make up for my unproductive day at work today! Ugh.  I did, however, find a little spark after work.  I finished two loads of laundry and even folded one of the loads (I never fold my clothes...I'm a horrible person like that).  I then straightened up Jasper's dog toys (which are all out again...oh well).  The dishes even got done! All before I headed out to play some sand volleyball.

Speaking of volleyball. I LOVE IT.  It makes me feel so happy and I always have a great time.  My knee felt stronger today than it did at the beginning of January when I tried to play for the first time since my surgery.  I don't know if it is because of the confidence I've been trying to build up - or if it is in fact stronger. Hopefully both!

Day 19 *yes ...which was supposed to be YESTERDAY* is "Your Favorite Quote".

I have many favorite quotes. I don't think it would be possible to narrow it down to one. So to be fair to all of my quotes - I will just give you the one that sticks out from my recent memory.  It is a quote from one of Donald Miller's books that I read and I think it is very true.

"Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself."

Very interesting concept if you sit and think about it.

Day 20: A regret you have

I don't know why I never went to the doctor after I originally hurt my knee in 2005.  Actually, I did go to the doctor in the small town where I went to college. He said "put ice on it".  I should have forced the issue and I should have went to Des Moines to see a doctor but I never did. I just lived with a weak knee which affected sports and affected my health in the long run.  I wonder where I would be if I had gone to the doctor and had this problem fixed shortly after it happened. I became incredibly less active after the injury and gained weight and wasn't able to go 100% during sports. It bothered me, but I always told myself it was because I had gained weight and if I lost the weight the knee would be just fine but I didn't love myself enough to lose the weight so I never knew the difference.  I also regret this because I think it would have been a MUCH easier recovery for me.  I'm 10 months out of surgery now and have had a few setbacks.  From what I hear...I shouldn't be needing physical therapy anymore but I still do :S We will see where that goes.

Anyway, miss you all! Thanks for your comments...it's great hearing from each of you everyday. Makes my day a good one!