Today I am thankful for....

...the invention of sweat pants and sweat shirts. I love them! I used to lounge around in them 24/7 when I went to school in Iowa. Now out here in Phoenix I do not have the opportunity to do so as much. However, ever since Saturday I have at least been able to do so in the evenings when it starts to get chilly outside and my house starts to cool off. Last night I got home and was chilly and Boyfriend and Jasper were hanging out with me. I changed right into my sweatpants and sweatshirt and cuddled with my two favorite men. I was SO happy. Only thing that could make it better was hot chocolate but I didn't have any. So watch out for my thankfulness level when I run to the store tonight to get some of that! JACKPOT :D

Today I am thankful that...

I gave myself the weekend off from the thankfulness blog. While I remained thankful - I just needed to keep as little on my plate as possible and the little bit needed to be focused mostly on my studies. It did wonders. I am also studying most of the next 2 weeks until the exam on the 21st. Hopefully I sill be able to keep up this momentum! Today I had a breakthrough with partnership taxes! woot woot (I know - many of you just rolled your eyes just now and the rest of you are wondering what the heck I am even talking about). It's ok. One day it will all be over. Now off to bed to snuggle with my little Jasper pup :D

Today I am thankful for...

Silly songs -- that I'm not really sure are supposed to be silly? This song came on my Sirius radio a while ago and I can't help but listen to it and dance and I feel ridiculous because it is a ridiculous song....but it makes me giggle when it comes on.

Today I am thankful....

That I have a job. I was a grouchy grouch this morning waking up earlier than usual because I had to travel clear across the valley to the west side to work on a client. I love this particular client -- however, the drive is sucky in the mornings with all of those other cars that like to cut my little beetle off and just everything was getting to me. But then I realized I was SO SO thankful that I had a job that I feel is secure and it pays my bills and gives me more than enough food and I am still able to be generous to others on top of all of that and it made me realize that the drive really isn't that bad. Plus I get to have that extra time to myself which can't be that bad. I am a decent person.

November and thankfulness...

Today I am thankful for... Jasper. I often times get chills just because I love him so much. I know he's "just a dog" but he's kept me going through some rough patches and he keeps me happy. I couldn't have asked for a better pup!

Ok - I'm gonna TRY to be thankful for something daily through Thanksgiving. We will see how this works out...especially as I get closer to my exam on the 21st. Miss you all!

I admit...

Ok - I have to admit that I KNEW who "Jagger" was...but that's about it. So when my new favorite jam-out-in-the-office-late-at-night song became "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5, I had to look up many a Mick Jagger youtube videos. Well worth the time wasting efforts :D I must be just too young *sigh*. Why did all the "coolness" happen before my times and I'm stuck with the likes of Charlie Sheen? Now time to do more jamming and get back to work. P.S. I miss you all. Sorry my life is so busy right now :(

Inspiration

I'm a bit behind on the times as I have never seen this video and it obviously has had many views.  Today I'm glad I saw it as it has put me in a good mood.  I hope it does the same for you.  A hospital in Oregon did the "Pink Glove Dance" video to promote breast cancer awareness.





The video brought people together to let breast cancer patients know that they are no alone!

I love it.

I'm going to be doing the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day again next year (2012) in San Diego. Go HERE to see my personal page!

I hope you all are having an amazing Labor Day. Love to all of you. I miss you guys!

To those not looking...

I am just sitting here - - it is way past the time I should be awake but I felt inspired to write tonight. Something I haven't really felt in a long while (again...I know I apologize every time I write now - but sorry for the absence).

There are folks in my life who probably have no idea they are a significant part of my life.  They probably don't even know that I classify them as "in my life" however they are definitely there. Some of the folks may not even know who I am.  I follow them from afar - I learn from them by studying their demeanor and how they react to certain situations.  I love listening to them speak on random topics from any genre.  I just yearn to gain any and all of the knowledge I can from them.

Right now I just want to take a second to pause in the blog world and thank those folks in our lives - even if they don't realize they are being thanked (just send good karma out their way) for being that bit of inspiration in a sometime dreary world.  I love each and every one of you and I'm sorry some of you have no idea.

The Holiday

Have you ever seen this movie? It is ridiculous and super duper chick flicky and I LOVE IT!

Things learned from The Holiday:

• I want little children who have British accents. It's adorable!
• House Exchange -- it seems to be an incredibly cool thing to look into in the future (maybe a bit on the crazy/scary side but still cool)
• If in London and a drunk guy comes knocking on your door in the middle of the night -- let him in and have your way with him! Do it!! It can only lead to long lasting love -- seriously. (To prove my point: http://youtu.be/1rMph8HzcDE) 
• Befriend the old guy next door -- he could be famous and incredibly interesting.
• I need to try to be the "leading lady" in my own life (here's the cheesy, chick-flicky-ness of the movie coming through).

Anyway, sorry I haven't been around the blog world much.  I am in the middle of taking classes for and preparing to take a section of the CPA exam PLUS I'm ultra-mega busy at work. *boo* 

Wonderful Weekend...

This weekend allowed me peace and a lot of thoughtful moments to myself. The Arizona campgrounds are absolutely gorgeous. There has been a few little rain showers and the smell of the pines is amazing. The folks up here are starting to learn my name and welcome me into their "family".

There are a few things I've learned about myself and my life since being up here.

1. I need and crave meaningful conversations in my day to day life.
2. I'm probably, eventually, one day going to live in the mountains.
3. Sometimes all most folks really need is for someone to listen to them.
4. My eyes are MUCH bluer when I'm in a good mood and having an amazing time.
5. I really do have some amazing friends already out here in Arizona.

Thank you for the weekend Arizona and Arizona friends. Now back to the real world.

Blue box?

How can a redbox be blue? Just saying...

I should be packing...

So I have another 3 day weekend coming up starting tomorrow! I am driving up to Prescott with a guy from church for a church reunion in the mountains. This will be my first time to do reunion with the Arizona group. I am a bit sad because I know New Mexico reunion is going on right now as well and I could have drove out there to see a certain friend who I have been missing a lot - however, I know I will have a great time up north and it will be good for me to get to know more about each of the folks I go to church with out here.

I finally got in to see the neurologist today. He said I have pseudotumor cerebri and he has started me on a series of tests to hopefully find what is causing it. In a nutshell - I have symptoms of a brain tumor - without actually having the brain tumor. So I am guessing I will be seeing a lot of this doc here pretty soon...at least he gave me medicine for the headaches. Maybe life can go back to semi-normal. He also thinks I may have a bit of sleep apnea but we are going to rule out some of the other potential causes for the disease before addressing that.

Anyway, that's the life update. Enjoy your weekend blog friends - I know I will be enjoying mine :D

You're special...

Have you ever heard a song and became completely entwined in it? A song that shakes you to the core by how true it resonates in your soul?

This came up out of the blue - but I literally feel this song when it comes on my Zune. It gives me the chills each and every time I hear it. I know who it is about for me. I am perfectly content in the life I have currently and I am absolutely in love with S -- however, memories are strong in me and I admit - I miss him and the connection we once had.



P.S. I love you Adele. You rock so hard.

Dreams coming true!

When I was 5, I used to have a HUGE crush on all of the guys from New Kids on the Block. I remember having their posters all over my wall. I had a NKOTB sweatshirt, slippers, etc. I even dreamed about them - I'd think really hard before going to bed and then I would dream about them at night. I used to hate the fact that everyone else in the world (or I assumed everyone else - I WAS 5) got to go to their concert but I lived in southwest Kansas where we only got country concerts (which worked out for my obsession with Dolly Parton but that's another story). I believe I played my New Kids on the Block cassette tape nonstop every single day whenever I possibly could!

Tonight - I get to go to their concert. FINALLY. Words cannot explain how excited I am. Only thing that could make it better is if they weren't with Backstreet Boys -- if NSync was going to be there instead. NSync was another dream of mine...whenever they have a reunion tour - I'M SO THERE!

Being open...

So I have a new diagnoses that has happened since my last post. Back in 2009 I had a condition called "papilledema" which has now resurfaced. It is one of those conditions where they diagnose you but then you have to go through test after test to see what caused it. Last time - they never found a cause.

This time has been a bit different. The symptoms I have been having are intense POUNDING headaches as well as black outs in my eyes - like they blur and then I get blind spots. I had these symptoms for 2 weeks before I finally broke down and saw the doctor this time. I am busy dealing with being behind at work (due to a week of vacation to direct church camp) and client work backing up due to me being sick the first week back (bad headaches...could barely even function). Luckily I have gotten to a point where I have been able to just deal with the headaches and work through the pain. However, it is so hard to concentrate and I feel client work is suffering - which is never good in today's job market.

I want them to figure out what caused it this time. It is scary knowing that this could ultimately cause blindness and this is the second occurrence and we still have yet to find a cause. We must wait and see. One little snag I am running in to: I must go see a neuro-ophthalmologist to start the waves of tests and "treatments". There are two of these kinds of doctors in the whole state of Arizona and one is not accepting new patients. The other said they could not see me until early August. When I pressed - she said they could "slip me in" on July 20. I don't think I can live with these intense headaches plus blind spots randomly showing up THAT long. It is ridiculous. I called the eye doctor and he was out so hopefully tomorrow I can find out if I can go to a regular neurologist to start the tests.

What are the tests you may ask? Well last time it went like this: 1. Head MRI to determine that there is not a tumor pressing up against the back of the optic nerve. It came out clear back in 2009 so I'm hoping they let me pass on the MRI but I will do it if they think it necessary. 2. Lumbar Puncture - aka: Spinal tap. When this was done last time it came out normal as well - however, they had already started treatment (diamox) which is a diuretic to help bring pressure down. After I had been on the diamox for a couple months my condition just went away. No real reason for me to have the condition - but it just disappeared and I was good. Now that it is back - I believe it may be even more imperative that we move fast to try to figure out what the cause is.

Anyway, I hate using my blog to bitch -but that's my life right now. Behind at work; constant headaches; black-out vision escapades; physical therapy on the knee which isn't feeling much different than it did before this last surgery. I know - I know. Pity party for me. Sorry.

In other news, church camp did go great. If you asked me during church camp I would have said it was awful as there was much drama and a few issues...but now that I have had time to look back at it and see the campers' responses...I believe it achieved what I wanted it to achieve. I accepted the role of camp director for next year as well so if any of you have any great, profound thoughts on what would be a good theme for a jr. high/sr. high church camp - let me know.

That's all for now. I want to end this post so I can head over and read some of your posts that I have fallen so far behind on that is appears impossible to catch up. Especially for the few of you who somehow find time and words to post 2 or 3 posts a day! Holy cow! I have missed reading you all though and look forward to the short time I have tonight to do such a thing. Peace to you all!

I Understand...

I have had this pounding headache and eyes blacking out for a week and a half now and it makes it very hard to function at work. Last week and even Monday of this week I was very sporadic at work and I'm so far behind it isn't even funny.

I understand now how people in pain sometimes feel like just snapping. I have to watch myself around everyone - I just want to walk around and punch people in the face and say snide comments to them and I have to put all of my effort into not doing such things. I have to calm myself and work around that particular situation. It's like something in my brain is making me this way too - I tend to be a decent/semi-nice person most of the time. Right now? Nope. I just want to push everyone away.

I see the eye doctor finally on Friday. I was putting it off but I shouldn't have. I have had this issue in the past - 3 years ago. They diagnosed me but didn't have a "reason" for what I had. It was a series of tests to rule out what did not cause it. I didn't have a brain tumor pressing on my optic nerves. I didn't have built up spinal fluid pressure. I hadn't had recent weight swings. It just happened to me. And it is just happening again and I hate it and I hate the world to be quite honest. I hate feeling this way and I want to be positive but it takes so much energy to be positive. UGH.

Anyway - I have other stuff I would love to blog about - but I really didn't have time to blog this so I definitely don't have time to blog those things. Hopefully soon I can be caught up. For now - I just want to say I miss you all - my blog friends. I miss you a lot. Sorry I've been so distant. I will try to write about camp soon and about other personal life issues I've been working through in my head. Love to you all.

Exciting news (a bit late...)

So I was thinking - I'm SO sorry to my friends (yes I call my blog readers my friends...heh). I really haven't been ignoring you all completely. I just read your blogs through a reader on my phone which doesn't allow me a way to comment. Also, I have been neglecting my own blog. I have not been posting. I come up with blog ideas in my head but then I don't find the time to follow through. Work has been crazy and life outside of work has been crazy this past month. I am writing you right now from a hotel room in Las Cruces, New Mexico - about to head up into the mountains for the week to direct the junior high/senior high church camp that I grew up going to. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I know things will run smoothly but I never feel "ok" until I get there.

ANYWAY, on to the exciting news that I have not shared with you all yet. I paid off my car in May! Two years early even! Back in November I decided to do my own version of Dave Ramsey's program. One of the "baby steps" he talks about is snowballing debt. Paying it down as fast as possible. I have a pretty extensive spreadsheet (because I am an accountant and very nerdy) that shows potential time frame of paying off all debt. I should be able to finish by my 28th birthday I believe. Then all that money will go towards building up 6 months worth of wages (not expenses...I wanted wages) - which will be done by my 29th birthday. And then when I turn 30 I want to take off (may have to quit) my current job and go to Peru for a semester. I will have the money I need to take off and do the program and hopefully spend 6 months down there taking spanish classes and volunteering and traveling all over. Living with a Peruvian family and just immersing myself in the culture. That right there is what keeps me on track and keeps me following my budget and cash flow spreadsheet. I don't know if I've ever felt more excitement about something I've accomplished BEFORE it actually happens than I have with this whole paying off debt. I have soooo much debt it's disgusting - but to say I am debt free BEFORE 30! That's going to be cool. Now of course I will still have my house debt - but at that time I can decide if I want to pay that down early or what as well. I could even rent it out when the time comes and just pay it down double time. We will see - main goal is to pay down car (CHECK - booyah) and now federal and private student loans that are EVIL!

Anyway, I don't want to bore you all with this financial talk. Just wanted to update you. This is the first car I can officially call my own and I love it. Yay for my little Beetle. Now he better last me for a long long time!

Dos Equis wine coaster....

My family is classy ;) just chilling at my cousin's high school graduation.

God.

My friend got a little message left on his windshield tonight...I will share that photo with you.

1. My friend is gay.
2. He is an AMAZING guy.
3. God definitely DOES NOT hate him.

I don't understand what the person had going through their mind when they placed this on his window. Did they feel they were "saving his soul"? That he would "turn to God"? I truly believe (and have some good biblical reasoning) that God ...does not "hate" his own creations. I also believe that intentions are clear when words like this are used - you are not saving anyone - converting anyone - etc. You are creating hostility and hatred and spreading it further and further in our world.

It blows my mind. Do they know what they are conveying about Christians? Do they fully comprehend the hate message they are sending? Has there not been enough news stories lately about "bullying" and the effects it has on our world? Luckily, my friend is strong and grown up and not necessarily "immune" to this crap - but at least he can take it. What about our kids? What are you placing in their minds? That if they happen to be different - God hates them? Or on the other side - it is OK to bully and threaten others if you think what they do is wrong? We need to grow up.

That's all I have. I'm not very elegant with words - and this post doesn't nearly show my frustration...but I just wanted to put it out there. I think what I want to say can be found in the doctrine of the Community of Christ church in section 162 which was given in 2004:

"6a. From the earliest days you have been given a sacred principle that declares the inestimable worth of all persons. Do not forget.

b. The One who created all humankind grieves at the shameful divisions within the human family. A prophetic people must work tirelessly to tear down walls of separation and to build bridges of understanding.

c. You hold precious lives in your hands. Be gentle and gracious with one another. A community is no stronger than the weakest within it. Even as the One you follow reached out to those who were rejected and marginalized, so must the community that bears his name."

It hit 100 in Phoenix today...so I needed something to "cool" me down :)

1. I LOVE Glee.
2. This episode gives me butterflies. They did the song so perfectly!

I thought today was Tuesday...it's not. It's Wednesday...

I have been telling people lately that work is taking over my life. I suppose that is only partly true.  I look back over even the past week and I have had many happenings/done many things.

Last Thursday I went with the boy and we watched the Diamondbacks slaughter the Cubs which was pretty fun because Phoenix is FULL of Cubs fans (I know - like everyone from Chicago moves here...crazy).

Last Friday, I took a client to the Cubs vs. Dbacks game - the Cubs took us...boo. That was no fun because Cubs fans are loud - and there were WAY more of them out for the game on Friday than there were on Thursday.

Saturday I did a nice 5 mile work out (on the elliptical of course because of the knee) and then went to a wine tasting with the American Society of Women Accountant's group I am involved in.  I ended up buying 2 out of the 6 wines we tried. PARTY! I can't wait to crack those open.  Saturday night I went to a silent auction/fundraising dinner for one of my ex-coworker's children.  It was a nice evening - great food. Didn't win the raffle and didn't win my bids in the silent auction but that is quite alright - money going towards something good.

Sunday morning I slept in - watched the last episode of The Office with Steve Carell finally (shed a few tears) and then it was off to a wedding.  The wedding was like an hour drive away (boo - all the way on the west side of the valley).  The venue was gorgeous however.  It was the backyard of this house over there.  They had a lazy river running through their backyard with a waterfall and some little coves to do "private" stuff in I suppose ;) ;)  The back part of the yard even had a trampoline (level with the ground - they dug a hole and the tramp was placed in there). I didn't go on that because I can't get the image of a broken leg out of my mind.  My friend Sam's little girl just broke her leg in 2 places just JUMPING on a trampoline! Ew.  The wedding was ok. They didn't have alcohol at all - and I think that gives weddings a thumbs down...but I managed.

Monday I went to work and then spent the evening doing errands - Jasper finally got a bath - I cooked a couple meals for lunches for the week and worked out a bit before my massage with my 2nd boyfriend over at the massage place. He's like my therapist/massager-guy all in one.  I get my monthly "chat" in with him which is always nice because we don't KNOW each other except from that little massage room so I can share whatever I feel with him.  All for the price of my massage! Woo.

Last night I did work until like 6:30 and then had the hour drive home (my client is pretty far out these 2 weeks).  On the drive home, my friend said he didn't want to cook and so we decided to go out for chinese food which was delicious - however, that put me home at about 9pm so poor Jasper didn't get a walk or time at the dog park or anything :( We just chilled at home until I crashed.

Tonight I'm going to see the Diamondbacks vs. Rockies with a friend whose boss gave him some "really good tickets" so that should be fun.  I am hoping the boyfriend can take Jasper to the park after work but if not I'll take him on a good long walk tonight after the game.

Anyway, I am at work so I should probably get to work (oops).  Hope you all have a great day!

Happy Birthday Uncle A.J.

Today would be my Uncle AJ's 40th birthday.  I loved my Uncle AJ.  He would always drop by unannounced and I loved every minute of it when he did.  I remember the excitement I felt when the doorbell would ring and I'd look outside and it was him! He lived about 2 hours away and would just randomly drop by.  Not sure if it was just to visit or what - I let the adults do their adult thing...but he would talk to me about music and play with me. I even remember going out for ice cream with him once.

One day I came home from church camp (I was around 11 years old and had just gone to a camp in Oklahoma) to find a ton of cars at my house.  The whole family was there when I was being dropped off.  I remember my first thought was that my mom had lost the baby again.  She had several miscarriages and I remember how sad my mom would get when she lost the baby. However, I thought it was strange that everyone came over this time.  They hadn't for the last ones - maybe it was because mom was so far along? Well, my initial thoughts were wrong. Thankfully she had not lost the baby this time (and I am extremely happy for that - because now I have my little sister Aubrey!).  I learned that my Uncle AJ - who was 25 at the time, had been electrocuted and killed at a work accident a few days earlier.  I remember being really upset at first because no one had called to let me know at camp.  I later found out that they made that decision so I would have a good time and not have to deal with that at a strange place.  I remember some of my first thoughts after finding out was how upset with myself I was that I was off having all of that fun while my family was back home suffering.  After a few years I came to realize that I didn't know and that it was okay that I continued to have fun. That Uncle AJ would have wanted it that way as well.

To this day, certain things still set off his memory.  I wish I could have gotten to know him more as an adult. Eleven years is not nearly enough time and I know he was the "cool" uncle who I would have had a bit too much fun hanging out with! haha. There are certain songs that will play on the radio that stop me in my tracks - remind me of him.  Songs he had introduced me to and songs that played at his funeral. I have some pretty great pictures of me being so happy hanging out with him. I am thankful for those.

While today is hard for our family - on his birthday - it is also a great time to remember and be happy that we had a few years with him.

I love you Uncle AJ - if I could visit heaven today I would and I'm sure we'd get into some trouble :-)

Time...

So I have some time right now while waiting for a few things to come in here at work. I suppose I can post a little something something for you all :)

It seems lately that a lot of my friends have been getting "news" from doctors - which isn't necessarily good news. One of my friends found out she has a rare form of cancer.  Another found out he has moved from Stage 3 chronic kidney failure to Stage 4 (out of 5 stages).  There are many other instances I could list.  Another blog friend is in for surgery this morning.  I'm thinking of them all and hoping for the best in each case.

I too found out some interesting news this past Tuesday.  I went in to the knee doc with my MRI results to try to figure out why, a year out from surgery, I am still in so much pain.  He had some findings. I have some bone shards in my knee around my knee cap (probably where the knee cap has been moving around - which has been the cause of a lot of pain).  Additionally, he couldn't tell for sure on the scans, but he thinks I do have some meniscus tears that need to be scoped. He said it is hard to tell on the side where he did the meniscus tear, because on the scans it could just be the repair he is seeing - but on the inside he says there is definitely some fraying. So that means going back into surgery to remove the shards and to see if he needs to scope out some more meniscus.  Additionally, the surgery won't fix my pain altogether.  He says I have developed arthritis under my knee cap and a little around the inside of my knee where the meniscus was scoped. I knew from previous chats with the doc that arthritis was almost inevitable later on down the road. I didn't realize that I would have it this fast! I knew that turning 26 was a bad idea! *cough*old lady*cough*  Oh well. I will have the surgery which will be far less traumatic than the first (only 3-5 days on crutches and only 6-8 weeks in physical therapy).  I also need to get my butt in shape! I need to strengthen the muscles in my legs as much as possible to help with the arthritis.  I went and worked out yesterday for the first time in forever at the gym and it felt GOOD! I'm glad I did it. I think I will make more of an effort for my knee's sake.

Anyway, that's my update. I hope that only good news comes next for all of my friends and myself! Let's get through the bad first half of the year - to an amazing second half!

Chilling...

I love Easton Corbin.

1. I think he is SO freaking cute.
2. His voice rocks.

This video brings me chills and I love the song. So I thought I'd share it with you all.

Day 07 - A picture that shows your true self.

My true self?  Well, I love a lot and I love hugs. I love letting people know I'm thinking of them and that I would be there to give them a hug if I could when they need one. So I chose this little cartoon that I absolutely ADORE.

P.S. There are a lot of pictures I could have used for this "day" but I decided to settle on one. Hope you feel my hugs going out to each of you, my fellow bloggers!

Shakespeare

Here is the newest addition to my little family.  I have decided to become a foster parent now that Jasper is close to the 2 year mark (his birthday is in May).

Poor little guy came to me on Thursday night and then got sick Friday morning! He hasn't eaten since and has been vomitting and other nastiness so I've been working to keep him hydrated. He is spending today at the vet getting IV fluids. Hope he isn't too scared!

I'm sure you all will here more of my fostering adventures :) jasper is doing well...seems to be a natural big brother...even to a sick puppy :)

MRI; End of tax season; spring in Phoenix

Well, I head out here in a bit to go get an MRI on my right knee to see if we can figure out why I am having so many issues in my recovery from my surgery (over a year ago!). The doctor seemed to think that the meniscus repair performed did not hold, which happens in a low percentage of cases.  If that is the problem, we will need to have another surgery (far less invasive) so he can go in and scope the meniscus.  I don't want to have another surgery BUT if that fixes me up and I can finally start running, playing volleyball to my full potential, etc. - - totally worth it. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

The end of tax season is finally coming up.  I don't do taxes but audit's busy season is kind of the same as tax.  I do start a new client next week and will be busy through June probably - but not nearly as busy which is nice. I like the end of tax season because my firm gives us a big happy hour on Monday night - with free car rides home! Woo hoo!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this time of year out here in Phoenix.  It isn't too hot and even if it does get a bit hot, it still cools down in the evenings.  I haven't had the heater or air conditioner on in over a month (well except for a couple of days when it hit 100 degrees). I am absolutely dreading summer though.  I used to think it wasn't a big deal - and it usually isn't...until it gets into October and we are still 100+ degrees. I could throw something in October. heh

That's all for now. My photo blog will be resumed once I figure out which photo to use for the next one. I can't really figure that out. Ugh.

Grrr.

I want to punch the government in the face right now.

Day 06 - A picture of your recent vacation, with your family

I just realized I didn't get any pictures of my family the last time we were all together which was Christmas 2010.  However, I got a lot of great shots over Thanksgiving 2010!

Thanksgiving for the past few years has been in the panhandle of Texas.  I must say - I hate the panhandle.  I have some memories from there. I didn't grow up there - I grew up in southwest Kansas (only a slight step up from the panhandle of Texas).  I did however, spend the summer after I graduated high school down in Texas.  I enjoyed it but it just isn't for me. Anyway, Thanksgiving was nice however.  The boyfriend and pup and myself made a car trip out of it.  We stopped semi-half way in Albuquerque at a dog park and let little Jasp run around. He played with the most adorable bull dog.  She was only 6 months old. I have NEVER seen a bulldog run like this little girl. Too cute.

Anyway, on to the picture:

Yes - we know the background sucks...haha. There weren't a lot of options at Aunt T's house!

I love my family.  I often times wish I lived closer to them all.  I literally have missed A growing up (she's the youngest one).  I graduated college when M graduated 8th grade and A graduated kindergarten.  She's so big now. She's going to do so well for herself though. She's gorgeous and has a great head on her shoulder and seems very bright and witty!  M is going to do amazing things as well. She graduates from Texas Tech in a month with a degree in graphic design! I can't wait to see what she can make of it. She is so incredibly talented.

Oh and one more picture.  This is of the whole clan for Thanksgiving. Yes - we are a very....interesting...bunch.

I'm going to answer before YOU even ask. Yes that dude's stache is real...that's my Uncle Billy Don. I remember being so scared of him when I was little. Still am a little 'intrigued' by his ways - I love him though.

Anyway, that's all for tonight. Need to get some sleep.

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

I want to start off this post saying...I have a LOT of memories.  It was ridiculous how many I thought about posting about.  I have been so blessed in life to have so many amazing experiences and moments with so many amazing people.  Here is just ONE of those experiences:

Back in 2007, I got to spend January down in Peru for college credit.  We did some business consulting working with the organization ProPeru. Anyway, I think I have so many great memories from that trip - but here are a couple of them.

1. Building the "poop stove" in the random village in the Andes mountains.  Women and children get very sick in many of the villages because they did not know how to build stoves with chimneys. Their stoves were filling up their huts with smoke and causing a lot of respiratory problems.  Our group went in and showed them how to build stoves out of these stones (which I believe ProPeru provided) and a mixture of dirt, poo, and wetness.  I seriously saw kids mixing this up with their feet (imagine something like grape stomping for wine...only this is poo stomping for stoves). Haha. Myself and another girl in my group helped a guy who was building a stove for a restaurant he wanted to start in the village.  Here is a picture of the completed project along with the family.

2. Machu Picchu.  Not a lot of things in my life have left me breathless. This place - it did. I could spend DAYS there literally. I think my favorite part of the trip was getting to Machu Picchu early and the fog was still down in the "city" and we had hiked up the trail to get a good view of the ruins.  Here is a picture of the fog - and then when it finally lifted.

3. Lastly, there is a story I tell most folks who know me about my time in Peru.  When I was a kid, my first pet was Jitters.  He was a guinea pig and I loved him.  I even showed him in the 4-H fair.  One day he got really sick and ended up dying.  He was the first "death" that I remember. I know I had many pets (dogs and cats) before that had passed away - but Jitters sticks with me for some reason. I remember crying for days, whenever I would think about Jitters.  He is buried in the garden of the house I grew up in - my parents moved away when I was in college...but Jitters will always be there.  Anyway, in Peru - guinea pigs are a delicacy.  Families have guinea pigs running around their house and when it is time to cook a fancy meal - they are ....*cough* USED *cough*.  I knew this going down there and I knew it was going to be inevitable.  It happened one night.  The family cooked us all up a special meal of ....yes "Cuy" (guinea pig). Here is the big pile of our "yummy" food for the evening.

Notice - I have already eaten the leg. Slowly and steadily. Don't want to offend when they offer you their best!

Done.

Have you ever felt like you weren't free? Like you just want to be done with everything, all obligations, and just run far away and not worry about your "stuff" and their "stuff" and just be.  This feeling is crazy overwhelming this morning.  I am just so done with "stuff".  I know why I volunteer and do so much and be so much to so many people and organizations and work - but some days it just feels like I don't think it is worth it all.  I just want to be.  I don't want to be relied upon.  I just want to go out and love everything and be free from societal obligations.  I want to love the person I am and be free to show others what amazing people they are.

I don't know where this feeling has come from.  It doesn't feel like the depression of old - when I used to suffer from depression.  It feels more like a yearning for newness. A yearning for change - even though that change would be so dramatic that it would uproot me from everything I feel so comfortable with in my life.

Lately I have been very nostalgic as well. Certain smells set it off and send me back into my past.  There are always little things that remind me of who I used to be - but lately they have been coming at me like a jack hammer. One after another. I am actually scared of the implications of these feelings. I am scared of the path I might choose...will it be wrong?

Day 04 - A picture of someone special to you.

I could write a whole blog about this someone special. I have actually already spoke about him many times so bear with me, but today's "day" called for it and he's one of the most special someone's in my life currently.

I got Jasper less than a month after my apartment was robbed at gun point.  I was not home when this happened thankfully.  The robbers didn't get away with much - 2 laptops, my roommates wallet, cell phone and keys to the apartment.  (Side note - they WERE caught and we got the laptops back...but a jury trial at which they lied out of their asses got them off the hook and back out onto the streets...grr). Anyway, I don't think it was immediate - but after about one week from the incident I decided I needed a dog. I wanted a puggle. I'm not sure it was necessarily because of the incident, however, I think the incident is what finally pushed me over the edge.  I was studying for the CPA exam at the time (still am...ugh) and got the baby at the absolute WORST time to get him.  One week before my exam I drove an hour and a half south and met him. Love at first sight.  He was so small - he fit in the palm of my hand. His whimper was so adorable and he was scared but he cuddled into my lap and seemed to feel better. I'm telling you - CUTEST THING EVER. I love him to this day, but those first few months where he was still small puppy were my favorite (minus the potty training).

So I present to you my best friend - the one guy who can take any crappy day and make me at least crack a small, quick smile. Jasper:

This is baby Jasper...

Day 03 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

I'm going to go with my Mom.

I have been one of the lucky ones.  I always considered my mom my best girl friend.  She seemed to understand me and didn't seem to be too hard on me.  She always loved me and made it to my games and listened to me complain about life plenty! She was always the one person there for me during my 18 years growing up in the small dinky town in Kansas and I love her for it.

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

This could be many folks in my family, but I'll choose my Gramps.  He was the first to introduce me to ice cream (I was less than a month old) and he always boast that we used to sit around and eat EXTREMELY hot salsa and chips together so he also gave me my love for good Mexican food. :)

This photo was taking at his birthday party two years ago. He is my only relative out here in Arizona and even though I hardly see him, I still am glad to have a family member out here.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

Are you ready for this? (Who am I kidding...of course you are. I'm sorry I've been gone so long. I think about the blog, it's so hard to get out of "real life" and head over here to this corner of my life.)

Here we go:

Monkey face ;-)

Fifteen facts about what? If they are about me, I already did this a while back. Ugh - oh well. 

1. I am an auditor.
2. I love coffee, but I gave it up for Lent (which is a practice that my church doesn't even observe - it's a personal journey/sacrifice).
3. I pay for monthly massages and I love them.  It's one of the small things I decided to do just for me.
4. I love to play volleyball in my free time.
5. I am a director of a church camp during one week of the summer for 7th graders through graduated high school seniors in the mountains of New Mexico. That camp is one of my favorite places in the world. 
6. My favorite job I've ever had was working in a coffee shop while in college. I wouldn't mind doing something similar in the future. (I don't know how to make it work financially so we will see if THIS ever happens haha)
7. I drive a VW Beetle but it has been giving me a headache lately with things going wrong with it. I used to love it.
8. I own a green laptop - I paid an extra $50 to get the green and I think it is totally worth it!
9. I LOVE March Madness. Best time of the year if I can get away from work for it.  I also believe Kansas is going all the way this year. ROCK CHALK.
10. I could eat cereal for every meal.  It has all of the essentials that I love. I could live on just cereal and milk alone!
11. I let my pup sleep in my bed with me. Prior to owning a dog this idea would have repulsed me, however, there is something about Jasper that makes it so I don't mind. I love that little guy!
12. I would like to eventually travel. I want to spend at least a month in each of the places I visit to truly get a feel for the place. I also know that spending one month in a spot will make me want more - it would be a hard endeavor for me.
13. My favorite cookies are chocolate no bakes. Ever since I was a kid. YUM.
14. I have an addiction to Craps. I am lucky that the state of Arizona does not allow it in the casinos here or else I may have a gambling problem that would be unhealthy for me. I enjoy Vegas mostly for the Craps table (and sports betting). 
15. I love to randomly text an "I love you" or "I miss you" to people in my phone that I have not spoken to in months or even years.  It makes me smile and I hope it does the same for them.  It is one of my 'things'. 

Because if I don't - you all will get bored with my blog....

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.
Day 03 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 04 - A picture of someone special to you.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 06 - A picture of your recent vacation, with your family.
Day 07 - A picture that shows your true self.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 11 - A picture of something you love.
Day 12 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 13 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 14 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 15 - A picture of you and your friends.
Day 16 - A picture of something you’re afraid of.
Day 17 - A picture of your favorite place.
Day 18 - A picture of a habit you wish you didn’t have.
Day 19 - A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel.
Day 20 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 21 - A picture that confuses you.
Day 22 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 23 - A picture of something you crave alot.
Day 24 - A picture of you last year and how you’ve changed since then.
Day 25 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 26 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 27 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 28 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 29 - A picture of someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

Something I've learned about myself...

Oh - wow - hello there. I haven't seen you in forever. That is because I'm working ridiculous hours and when I'm not working, I'm running around doing things I couldn't do while I was busy studying for the exam I took last week.  I need to start studying for the next one, but the break has been SO nice.

Anyway, I figured I would come back and tease you a bit with a little blog post :) This will also be my FINAL blog post from the "30 Days of Randomocity" list I started all the way back in January.

I believe the topic assumes that I have posted once a day for all 30 days...but I'm going to stick to it's literal interpretation:

Day 30: Something  you learned (if anything) about yourself in the last 30 days

I don't really know how much new I've learned about myself. I have been a slacker lately due to my job.  I just am so tired when I finish and leave work every day.  I just want to sit and do nothing even though I have plenty of things on my list that need completed.  This isn't like me. In college I could always go-go-go and never stop. Now I don't feel like that at all. I just want to come home and sit and do nothing. Maybe this is just "busy season" getting to me...but hopefully I can kick myself into gear soon.

On a positive note - I have learned that I have some really amazing friends who are SO much fun to hang out with.  This past weekend I spent Friday night with a group of great folks who put me in a great mood to kick off the weekend.  I then spent Saturday night with a different group of amazing folks! I couldn't ask for better friends and a more fun weekend.

I learned in that there are some AMAZING folks around the world who have intriguing things to share about their lives.  I love all of the blog friends that I have made and I wish I could sit around all day and just read your blogs and comment on them and do nothing more.  Maybe one day when I marry into riches ;)

That is all for now. I am BEAT. Goodnight friends.

Day 29: A photo of you as a child

One more day left in the "30 Days of Randomocity" and it has been good.  I haven't always known what to write, but I wrote it. :)  Today I am supposed to leave you all with photos of me as a child.

I always feel that seeing the "baby pictures" you can really see who a  person once was.  I say "once was" because life begins to happen and something just changes a person.  The innocence of a child is miraculous and I love it.  I am following two blogs of soon-to-be fathers (shout out to Ryan and Paul) and I am very excited to read their blogs after the big event.  They will have some marvelous insights into the world through the eyes of a child!

Anyway - here are the few photos I have that were already on my computer.  I don't have a scanner hooked up currently (I should do that soon!). I have some other photos which are much better into the young life of Shelby - however, these will suffice :) Enjoy!

Rock and Roll!

Uncle Tim and I - LOVE the 80's couch and covered lamp shade. Awesome!

Aunt Twila and myself. I have stayed close with her over the years...LOVE my Aunt.  Also, I just noticed I'm eating a slice of cheese. I love it.

Gramps and I before the high school homecoming game. I was in Kindergarten here and was picked for the homecoming court (to carry the flowers that would be presented to the "queen" and "princesses". 

Playing with my best friends! I miss smiling like that :) 

Jasper says...

Good night everyone...!

Music - It makes me smile :)

Day 28: Your favorite musician and why


I have always loved music.  I used to be "cool" and like the stuff no one else had ever even heard of.  I tend to lean more toward "regular" stuff now.  It is really hard to come up with my favorite musician however.  I go through phases for one - and for two - there are a TON of very talented and amazing musicians in our world.  Not only are they talented in their music but also are very compassionate folks in general which is something I'm drawn to. 


Lately I have been on a very folky music kick.  Some of my favorite artists to listen to lately have been the following:

• Ingrid Michaelson
  
• Michael Buble
  
• Jack Johnson
  
• Ben Folds
  
• Bright Eyes
  

Really I could keep going on too...but I must get back to work.  I just have been frustrated that I haven't "finished" my 30 Days of Randomocity that I started so long ago...it will finish soon!

Decaf Coffee

Decaf coffee is yucky...but I want to be able to sleep after my study session...

What I am hoping for currently is that my brain will be temporarily tricked into thinking I'm drinking real coffee....and it will stay awake and alert through some lectures and practice problems. Hoping this works ;-)

Rain in Phoenix...

Jasper wasn't sure what to think about the rain we had this past weekend! I know I disliked it :-( I can't wait for our "normal" winter to just stay!
Today = 70s.....more rain coming Saturday and Sunday. Boo!

Fundraising slacker...

I am doing this heart walk this coming Saturday and haven't even TRIED to receive donations.  So, I thought I'd at least put a widget up on my blog.

I am walking this year in honor of my Gramps who had open heart surgery in 2008.  He is still going strong and I am so proud of him!  This walk signifies his recovery, but is also a reminder to myself and others how important it is to stay healthy and take care of our hearts.  Cardiovascular disease claims the lives of nearly 500,000 American women each year.  Heart disease is the number one killer of women (more than all forms of cancer combined)! By exercising for as little as 30 minutes a day a person can reduce their risk.

The funds I raise for this heart walk will not only bring awareness and great reminders...they go toward projects like:

• Putting up-to-the-minute research into doctor's hands so they can better prevent and treat heart disease among patients.
• Groundbreaking pediatric heart and stroke research.  About 36,000 babies are born with heart defects each year - research is the key to savings babies' lives.
• Getting life-saving information to those who need it most - information that can save a life, like how to eat better, how to recognize the warning signs of heart attack, and how to talk to a doctor bout critical health choices.

So - with all that said, here is your chance to help me reach my fundraising goal for the upcoming walk:

An award - and not for last place like the last award I received!!!

Hey everyone,

I am taking a break from studying tonight to fill out the questions for my "award" I received from an old college acquaintance over at Little Silk Dress - AND pass it on. Don't hate me if I pass it to you and you don't like doing them. No one will ever check...I think. ;-)

Ok Ok...before I begin. This picture is a little too "girlie" for me. So I propose an alternate picture. You can choose one going forward. (I just made up this rule). I did a google search and found another one I liked...hopefully it isn't copyrighted or anything. Hehe.

YAY! I love Scrabble.  Ok...now on to the questions.

If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so you could be anonymous now?

I wish I started out blogging anonymously.  I think there is a great mystery about blogs who have anonymous authors.  Also, I think I do sensor myself a little more than I would normally - just in case someone found me.  I have been tempted to go back and try to be more anonymous - but I haven't taken the time to do such a thing just yet.

Describe an incident that describes your inner stubborn side?

I waited 5 years before going to finally get my knee examined and have surgery. I knew it was not "great", but I kept postponing getting it checked out.  In those five years, I could have stayed in better shape and kept up with my volleyball, basketball, softball, etc skills. I would advise anyone NOT to do the same as I did.

What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?

To be completely honest. I see someone who is lost.  I put on a front - showing the world that I have things figured out...but I still don't believe I have found the one thing in life that makes me happy.  My one thing that I could devote my life and energy too.  I think it is out there - but my passion has not yet been found. Sure, I have little passions...however, I feel there is still something out there that will strike at any moment. Look out world - one day I won't look in the mirror and see "lost little me" :P

What is your favorite summer cold drink?

I would say it is the same as my winter cold drink, and any other season that you other folks outside of Arizona have. Patron Margarita. I love me a good tequila margarita! On the rocks - no salt please.

When you take time for yourself, what do you do?

Board games if there are folks willing to play with me.  When I was in college - time to myself would mean finding other friends to hang out with. I know that seems backwards haha.  If I HAVE to be by myself - watch a tv series that I own (this is going to cause others to make fun of me but here goes: Felicity, Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, The L Word, Queer as Folk, Pushing Daisies - are the ones I own. There are others I wouldn't mind owning...).  I also love a good time to myself to sit and read a good book. I don't have time to do that anymore except when on an airplane.

Is there something that you still want to accomplish in your life?

Tons. One of course, would be finding my pure and true passion (see above).  Others - complete the good ol' bucket list. Travel as much as possible. Make others happy in some way. I still want to get married and have kids and raise them to hopefully be good loving people who will accomplish things in their lives as well. 

Is it easier to share your true self in your blog or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events?

It is easier for me to share my true self in my blog.  It is harder for me to write about others or try to decipher events.  I could do it - but my blog is more of a way for me to vent and spend time to myself (while still sharing with others). 

If you had a chance to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?

Definitely read a book. I hate talking on the phone for some reason.  I would much rather email or send letters or texts. I don't think I'm a "recluse" but when you say "let's talk on the phone" ...I'd rather not.

Ok - now I am supposed to pass this award along to five people - THEN you five will fill it out and pass it along to the next 25 folks.  Just do it :-) (and sorry if you've had this award before...I am passing this to those who read...and if you already have it...well you already have done the requirement ;) I suppose you COULD repost haha)

1. thormoo - I love reading about your life and struggles and accomplishments. You are brave to share with the world! Keep up the good work.

2. Bruce - I KNOW you've already received this award...but I wanted you to know that I love your blog. And I love your pup!

3. Ryan - You probably have had this award too...but here you go again.

4. The Restaurant Manager - I am a new follower of yours and I love the blog (so I wanted to give a shout out so others can find you).  The recent music challenge is awesome! I'll have to jump on board with that one day.

5. Bz - Love your blog :-) That's it...thought others should read it too! (Sorry I don't comment much...soon I won't be so busy)

Ok that's all for tonight. Back to studying. I worked a total of 71.5 hours Monday - today and I didn't get much more than 1 chapter studied. My exam is NEXT Sunday. I need to learn to commit better.